I got another answer to my prayers today about this blog (yup I pray over my blog!). I first got the prompting to start a blog about a year and a half ago and its been in the making ever since. Little by little, I believe the Lord has guided me to writing. I finally got the "go ahead" in church one Sunday so I made the name, got social media pages ready for it....and started writing. But something just didn't feel right. After watching General Conference this last April, I figured out what it was.... I was not connected to the blog. I had made it completely anonymous and separate from any of my other profiles. I told myself it was for security...but really I wanted to be able to say whatever I wanted, share the Gospel, be me....and not have anyone know it was me.
How horrible is that?
After the talk from Elder Russell M. Nelson, I knew what didn't feel right. I had to let my faith (and any struggles) show.
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| General Conference April 2014 |
I've always been a "shut up and buck up" person. I keep my troubles to myself and expect little help from people. But these last few weeks I have found myself going to my faith, and some blogs to help me ease my troubles. Tonight, as a read a favorite blog of mine I thought.... I wonder if I'll ever be able to help people like that?
Then, as I studied I ran across a CES Fireside. Elder Cook talks about the dangers that come when we "wear a mask" or act out of character. Then, once again, I knew. I have to be me. I have to accept myself for who I am....and then be okay sharing me with others. No one is perfect... so why do I hide my trials? Truth is... I have spent a lot of time hating myself. Sometimes I can't bear up.
Obviously, there are still things that shouldn't be shared on blogs...but how can I expect to help and uplift people if I'm not me.
I wouldn't want to blog because "I didn't want to be depressing" "I didn't want to offend" and "I am afraid people will treat me different." But that doesn't matter to me anymore. I want to help people more. And to be frank...writing is the best therapy I have had in a long time. I need it for me.
So from now on...this blog is unedited Lisa. I'm actually still in the process of finding who Lisa really is. So aren't you lucky you get to be on the journey with me??
I'm not saying we should all focus on all of the negative things in our lives....but we need to stop pretending to people that we are perfect. And we also need to stop putting ourselves above others and insisting that our trials are "worse." I can't tell you how many times I have been hurt by people saying I wouldn't understand, because "I have no trials." I guess it is a blessing that I come off as a well put-together lady without heartache. Truth is... I don't talk openly about much. Truth is.... a lot of people struggling don't talk openly.
I've told my husband countless times that I wish I just had a broken leg or something visible. Not to get pity....but so people would stop expecting things from that I can't give. Sometimes, people expect more than I can give because my trials are not seen from the naked eye. I submit most people feel this same way.
We are all going through something in this life. Life is hard. Sometimes I sob at a picture of Jesus Christ...just because I want to be with Him so badly. But He didn't leave us here alone. Heavenly Father sent us to Earth with many resources including the Holy Ghost, and other people to help and uplift us. It is a baptismal covenant to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who need comfort. Then why do we spend so much time comparing our trials with those trials of others'?
It seems like a waste of time. Let's just get to work. Let's find solutions instead of self-pity.
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